Chapter One - The Seduction Of American Youth
Insight #1 Knowledge helps us to accurately see the world around us, but understanding helps us to choose wisely, live abundantly and happily.
When I was fifteen, I worked in a doughnut shop with an older man who was easy to talk with. One night I asked, "What do you think about sex before marriage?"
His answer was short and simple, "There’s nothing wrong with having sex before you're married, but there is something wrong with getting pregnant."
The American youth--for decades--have been seduced by the idea that there is nothing wrong with premarital sex except the physical consequences: pregnancy, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases, AIDS. They’ve been taught how to keep from getting pregnant and what to do if they do get pregnant. They have been taught the sex drive cannot be controlled, and that there’s such a thing as "safe sex". They have been taught anatomy, various sexual practices, every sexual lifestyle imaginable, and assorted contraceptive devices. But they have not been taught the emotional and spiritual hazards of sex, or the reasons and rewards for postponing sexual relations until a loving, loyal and legal relationship is established. How can we criticize the youth for the off-the-charts teenage pregnancy rate when they have not been properly informed?
The seduction came from all sides: movies, music, books. Some schools--even churches--would not consider teaching abstinence because they believed it to be unachievable. Hollywood would not consider it because it was not profitable. The sexual revolution and the free love movement tossed traditional values to the wind. The idea of waiting until marriage changed to waiting for the next consenting relationship. Fidelity in marriage was altered to fidelity as long as everything was going okay. Being "engaged" was replaced by "living together".
Our happiness is determined by the ideas that we believe. Ideas form attitudes, and attitudes determine behavior or actions. Bad ideas produce unhappy and unfulfilling lives; good ideas produce happy and fulfilled lives. The idea "if it feels good, do it" was a bad idea that seeded bad behavior. The idea that sex is simply a biological urge was another bad idea that seeded more bad--irresponsible, exploitive--behavior.
The sexual revolution was a national temper tantrum to avoid honor, loyalty and commitment in sexual relations. It reminds me of the spoiled girl, Veruca Salt, in the movie, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." Remember when she throws a temper tantrum and demands to get what she wants, when she wants it? Such an attitude with a child is irritating, but with a whole society it’s scary. The sexual revolution created widespread deception, distrust, disloyalty, divorce, abortion, and off-the-charts illegitimacy.
The free love movement had nothing to do with love and even less to do with freedom. Where’s the freedom when the "every man for himself" game makes us all feel threatened and scared? Where’s the love when men prey upon women, and women prey upon men?
The Counter Sexual Revolution
Lately, however, there’s an awakening in the air. A new revolution is brewing--the Counter sexual revolution. The value of abstinence before marriage and fidelity after is being reconsidered. One study shows that Americans are more worried about the loss of morals in their society than anything else. They are worried about the high illegitimacy rate--the highest in the world. They are worried about the lack of human tenderness and respect. They are worried about AIDS. They are worried about tax dollars spent on single mothers and their children. They are worried about how children will fare growing up without fathers. They are worried about the high divorce rate. They are worried that things have gone too far.
There are more than just the physical consequences of casual sex; there are emotional and spiritual consequences as well. Casual sex can inflict the deepest kind of pain and suffering for the human soul--children robbed of childhood, girls who cry in the night over boys who never loved them, boys who must put aside skateboards to grow up too soon and too fast. The real tragedy of casual sex isn’t the cost to the government, or the pregnancies, or the AIDS threat--it’s the broken hearts and broken lives.
As a fifteen-year-old, I didn’t really know what I was searching for when I asked about having sex before marriage, but as a fifty-year-old I realize I was searching for knowledge that would help me to make responsible sexual decisions. I wanted more than just the facts of life, I wanted understanding. Factual knowledge helps us to accurately see the world around us, but understanding helps us to choose wisely, live abundantly and happily.
I believe that there are universal and natural laws--self-evident truths--for human success. Some things do not work; other things work every time. Values may change from culture to culture, but natural laws for human happiness and success are always the same. Cooperation, service, compassion, sacrifice, understanding, honor, and integrity will always enhance the harmony in any heart, in any home, in any nation. On the other hand, selfishness, callousness, insensitivity, dishonor, and deception will always tear at the peace and harmony of any heart, of any home, of any nation.
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